the truth about beach vacations…with children

i love the initial response to vacation…”ahhh how relaxing.” i’m still perplexed by this idea because what i have experienced in my 37 years of family vacations and traveling is…chaos. stress. schedules. exhaustion. now don’t get me wrong, seeing new sights and experiencing new things are wonderful and worth it all! things shift dramatically when you begin traveling with, deep breath, small children. how in the world are you supposed to discipline an unruly child on an airplane? i considered my usual threat of taking away privileges such as the fun pending event…impossible. the plane is going to land in the destination and there’s no taking that away! is it acceptable to look the other way and just pretend that you don’t notice your children tackling one another or screaming their heads off in the airport terminal? well, i hope so. and when in the privacy of your own vehicle, your child is adorable singing along to “old town road” (thank you billy ray cyrus and nas), it’s not cute at all to the sardines on the airplane when that adorable child, with no concept of sound level, begins to sing their favorite song…louder and clearer than ever before….which means “wranglers on my booty…fendi sports bra…cheatin’ on my baby.”

the idea of the beach, glamorized on youtube and children’s books, is a lie! the minute a granule of sand sticks to the spaces in between their fingers or saltwater splashes in their eyes or mouth, the world will acutally end. and it will be your fault. just get ready for it. and be prepared for seventeen wardrobe changes in an hour because it is not tolerable to be wet outside of the water. and when they get out to build sandcastles, well, you know the sand thing will happen and they will be right back in the water. in that new outfit. so if pajamas are the last of the clean clothes, just go with it. here’s the part where you pick your battles…i pick none!

if your child swears they will pull their own cute little colorful rolling suitcase, it’s a lie. just be prepared to be a pack mule during your travels. this will especially annoy everyone on the plane as you attempts to shuffle down the aisle but, again, just ignore the stares!

along those same lines, your children will spontaneously not be able to use their legs when you are attempting to walk somewhere. this is especially true in the sand, although the legs functioned fine in every other moment leading to this.

now here’s the kicker…despite how badly you’ll need a vacation to recover from your vacation, traveling with your children is truly is an unforgettable experience. there’s something about exploring through the eyes of a child that restores a little piece of your heart that is jaded by the world. hearing screams of joy and excitement from a child over seeing a new creation are hard to beat. and my favorite, the curiosity that traveling stirs up in little minds, is inspiring. so get your cocktails ready and enjoy the chaos!