Abishai

God put the word “flourish” on my heart at the beginning of the year. we are desperate to crawl from the ashes of 2020 but for me, i feel like the season of struggle has lasted much longer. i’m tired of feeling like a burden to friends and family, of merely surviving, of disappointment, of pain, depression…God spoke to me and simply told me that i could flourish in the midst of my circumstances. this year very well may carry more suffering, but through His perfect gift, i can certainly be a woman full of grace, a mom clothed in strength, a friend able give. i was truly blessed this morning as i listened to a sermon by steven furtick of elevation church. he spoke of battles and season and weapons. how we may have strength in one season but not in the next. how we tend to revert back to a season when we had no help when in fact our Abishai is right in front of us, someone God has specifically gifted us with to help. we may be walking around with a slingshot when we are supposed to be suited in armor for this battle. i identify with this, i have developed coping mechanisms, some unhealthy and i tend to run to those first. and they fail. all along, God has the perfect weapon for me to fight whatever battle i’m in, i just need to rely completely on Him. so here we are, the end of this first month, and i find myself wondering how in the world i can flourish when i feel the way i do, overwhelmed, stressed and defeated. the lyrics “just ask the man who was thrown on the bones of elisha if there’s anything that He can’t do,” have shaken my soul with hope. some days i feel like a heap of dead bones. depression, grief….the weight of life… has robbed me of so much and i desperately hope for that miracle in myself. not just to live, but to flourish. God, open my eyes to see the Abishai you have placed in my life specifically for this season!