life
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valentine’s day
you know that feeling when you have a story that deserves to be heard? to be cherished. like you are holding onto the most precious key that could unlock hope in someone else’s heart? the type of story that some believe only exists in movies. i have been holding onto this story for just over a week; the thought of translating it to readable words overwhelms me….Valentine’s Day. a day that makes me roll my eyes. always has. but not anymore. it now has a new meaning and that is because i had the privilege of watching the truest love story unfold. it didn’t involve roses, or chocolates or teddy bears.…
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grief
i remember answering phone calls of silence on the other end only to hear the deafening sound of tears. a grieving mom, desperate for answers, wanting help holding onto reality through grieving the loss of her precious daughter. i never knew what to say. i just knew that i was thankful that she chose me to call days and weeks after her great loss. and then there were the phone calls from the grandpa. months and even years after losing his grandson. deep in grief. searching for some sort of connection to his lost love, as if i held the key to some precious memory since i was present when…
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the friendship domino effect
you know those friends that constantly lift you up, are always there for you, encouragement seeps from every ounce of their being…and you know those friends who are constantly in need. in need of encouragement, support, a shoulder to cry on. i’ve been both. seasons of life toss us between the spectrum of these types of people. that is the beauty of friendship, of community, of truly walking life with one another. that’s what God had in mind when He created us. we aren’t meant to suffer and succeed, face joy and sorrow alone. i have found myself recently abundantly blessed by a community of people that are more than…
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the smell of water
since moving into our new neighborhood, one of my favorite moments of the day is our morning walk. as we walk house by house i feel like i’m a kid again, navigating the same streets i did visiting my grandparents. and as we walk by lawns watered by sprinklers, the distinct smell of the water in this town comforts me. the nostalgia of many memories spent outdoors, exploring with my sisters and cousin, adored and loved so much by my grandparents is overwhelming. and when we meet neighbors who ask “who we are” (which in small town means who are you related to!) i am proud to name my parents…
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small town charm
the kids and i now call small town texas, home. it’s a long time dream of mine. it’s a much needed push of the reset button for us. i’ve learned so much and have been so richly blessed by the small town charm in just a few months. sure, there are drawbacks, like everyone knows your “business.” but in my case, it was refreshing to move to small town texas and be able to share exactly who i am and what’s happening in my life. a fresh start. people have the choice to accept me and my “business” or move on. and remember when i talked about being real? well,…
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a week full of big feelings
this has been one of those weeks that quite honestly, i’m glad is over. it was hard. difficult personally because of a pretty monumental event that forever changed my family. difficult because of big emotions. difficult because of parenting hurdles with big behavior struggles… BUT oh so good because of God’s big grace. good because of overwhelmingly great big love i have for my kids. good because of a sweet community that i have found myself immersed in. good because of so many blessings. regardless of difficult or good, my heart is worn out from so many big feelings. i helped miss independent put her pajamas on the other day,…
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grace
grace…it’s a name we give our daughters,a word we sing in songs,something we strive to possess,something we beg for… and it’s free. we just have to choose to accept it and extend it. “the Lord is compassionate and GRACious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from…
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on being real
do you all know glennon doyle melton (MEET HER HERE)? she’s amazing. she’s a warrior. i love reading anything she has to say. i wish i could meet her someday, perhaps she’ll google her name and find her way to my blog! she’s real. she’s unashamed. she is glorifying God and speaking truth… “we’re not often permitted to tell the truth in everyday life. there is a small set of words and reactions and pleasantries we are allowed to say, like, “i’m fine, and you?” but we are not supposed to say much of anything else, especially how we are really doing. we find out early that telling the whole…
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refinement
there are seasons of life when we walk through storms. i have learned that it is a beautifully messy process in which God refines us. it’s like being thrown into the fire to burn off the impurities only to be pulled out even more beautiful and worthy than before. “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.” (Isaiah 48:10). it is so hard to understand suffering and i don’t try to understand the “why” anymore, instead it makes much more sense to ask “what now.” ten years of watching innocent children suffer and die from a terrible disease taught me…
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storms
life has thrown me a curve ball and i find myself questioning what the future holds. i remind myself of the circumstances i’ve seen. the things i saw when i was on the “front lines.” the horrifying times i walked other families through. so all i can do is thank my mighty God that these stormy seas i find myself in are not THOSE storms. because once you’ve seen courageous warriors get through the worst of the worst, you know you will find the strength to get through any storm. i wake each day searching for the words to speak to God. i fight back tears almost every time someone…