mothering
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mom victories
i joke that rad’s happy place is his high chair. the boy can eat although i feel as though the novelty of it has worn off for him and it’s not as exciting any more. i used to have great mom pride in his willingness to eat foods of all varieties. he would gleefully eat brussel sprouts, fish and asparagus, just to name a few ridiculously weird foods for kids to enjoy. i didn’t have to make special meals for him (like picky carb addicted sister). he. would. eat. anything. nowadays most of his meals end up on the floor as he thoroughly enjoys pitching his food, piece by piece…
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a week full of big feelings
this has been one of those weeks that quite honestly, i’m glad is over. it was hard. difficult personally because of a pretty monumental event that forever changed my family. difficult because of big emotions. difficult because of parenting hurdles with big behavior struggles… BUT oh so good because of God’s big grace. good because of overwhelmingly great big love i have for my kids. good because of a sweet community that i have found myself immersed in. good because of so many blessings. regardless of difficult or good, my heart is worn out from so many big feelings. i helped miss independent put her pajamas on the other day,…
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grace
grace…it’s a name we give our daughters,a word we sing in songs,something we strive to possess,something we beg for… and it’s free. we just have to choose to accept it and extend it. “the Lord is compassionate and GRACious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from…
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dear me
dear me, happy mother’s day, momma. i know you don’t take compliments well but just for this one day, let your guard down and take the praise. you are doing an amazing job. you are raising the most beautiful, spirited, smart, creative, kind, and independent little girl. sometimes when i look at her, i think i’m looking at you. i see how her smile paralyzes you. her busy and bright mind astonishes you. and that sweet, curious, happy little boy, oh i see how he has completely melted your heart. you continue to meet his every need in an instant. i see the way he admires his big sister and…
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mom diaries
i dreamed of being a mom for as long as i can remember. and when we decided it was time to start having children, it couldn’t happen fast enough. i. could. not. wait. to. be. a. mom. i spent many years working with children as a pediatric nurse. i worked with kiddos that needed so much attention and patience, kids battling chronic and life threatening diseases. i thrived as i cared for them physically, emotionally, spiritually and dealt with their family needs as well. there couldn’t have been a better fit; despite my crazy over emotional, cry at the drop of a hat, heart. for some reason, i was made…
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a better me
i’ve replayed the conversations i have had the most over the past few months and i hear complaining. ugh that is not me! well it’s not who i want to be. i am anxious, high drama, nervous and stressed when things are tough. i have been complaining so much lately about my lack of sleep and worse my parenting #fail for not being able to get rad to sleep for very long at night. woe to me. I’M GOING TO BLINK AND HE WILL BE GROWN UP. why am i not joyfully embracing the moments that stand still in his nursery? why am i not thanking God for the extra…
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fancy yoga pants
i thought i’d have this kid thing down after three years of raising gracie, the most spirited, energetic, independent little being i have ever known. whew! her infancy was exhausting, lots of crying, not much sleeping and more crying. but once we figured out a routine and once she learned how to sleep, she became a happy happy child. she did great with routine so we ran with it and kept her days structured. she’s one of those kids that gets more wound up and energetic the more tired she gets. she’s not one to curl up on the couch and confess that she’s tired. no, instead she’s doing cartwheels…
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end of a chapter…for now
it’s official. i’m pushing pause on my nursing career to stay at home with the kiddos. it’s still surreal to me, this opportunity to stay at home with my babies. the chance to take a breather from a journey that has left so many marks on my soul. to be honest, i am grieving the loss of that identity, the pride that comes with the work i’ve done for so long but i am empty… i am drained from caring for my own family especially since the arrival of rad that i can’t imagine finding the strength to care for those kiddos at the hospital right now like i used…
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celebrating motherhood
i love this post on Huffington Post: STOP CENSORING MOTHERHOOD “Because breasts are normal. Because using breasts for breastfeeding is normal. Because stretch marks are normal. Because body fat is normal. Because lines are normal. Because under-eye shadows are normal… particularly after breaking up with sleep. Because strong arms and big hearts are normal. Because skin is normal. Because motherhood is normal.” this is resonating with my heart more the second time around. my body isn’t “bouncing back” as quickly as it did with gracie and i am OK with that. i’ll take the extra pounds and the imperfections because i have two amazing children that are perfect.
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your kindness
dear gracie,i have learned so much about you this summer. i have learned that your heart is bursting with love. i love watching you discover other kids at the park, pool, store, etc and instantly want to know their name, age and favorite color. you are so social and friendly (now don’t get me wrong, a little stranger danger will do you some good, too. we will work on that!) i know you love to talk and ask questions but i believe your true desire is to know people. to care for them. you ask daddy how his work day was and you ask me how the sick kids at…